HOW DO I "Do It"?

SexEdNotes   ~   The Sexual Act

We are normally born with a natural sexual instinct that drives us to reproduce. We are usually aware of the biological drive that we have very early in our lives. That drive causes us to seek out ways to gratify our sexual urges. That usually means finding ways to enable our bodies to reach an orgasmic state. There are many things that we can do to reach that state, some involve only ourselves, and others involve another person... or two... or... .

The natural urge is to find a partner of the opposite sex and perform Coitus (Intercourse... Penile-Vaginal penetration). When we do that, there is a high risk of that action producing a pregnancy that results in the birth of a child. Young people that first encounter this sexual drive and seek to satisfy it through Coitus are much too young to have the responsibility that comes with the production of a new baby, and in the case of the girls, far from being physically able to carry a fetus and deliver a healthy child, let alone to support and care for one until it reaches adulthood. And any young man that is able to Ejaculate (has reached Puberty) can father a child. The youngest girl on record to become pregnant was only  5 1/2 years old.

Add to this the extremely high risk of contracting a disease from someone that may carry that disease (often unknown even to them) and the decision to become sexually active with someone can be literally a life-threatening decision.

If a man and a woman have Coitus, or even a close proximity of their genitalia, Vaginal fluids will be deposited on the man's Penis, and if the woman has a blood-borne pathogen such as AIDS, it can be passed from her bloodstream to her Vaginal fluids and then deposited on the man's Penis. If the man has any type of rash or burn or tear or scratch on his Penis, his bloodstream is open to any virus or pathogen from her fluids, and he has a very good chance of his life being changed seriously. What about the woman? If the man has AIDS, it is passed through his Semen to the woman, who very likely has tiny abrasions in her Vagina due to her just having Sexual Intercourse or inserting/removing a tampon, and now she is facing a lifetime of problems.

Ok, neither of them have AIDS. Good. Of course, you would only know that because they both were tested six months after they had intercourse with anyone... anyone at all. Maybe it will show up in a test. Maybe not. They will be taking a very risky gamble, and the loser will lose big time. But is there anything else that can pass from one to the other besides AIDS? Read the chapter on Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's) and learn the many risks that are waiting to be passed from one person to the other, bringing with them, at the very least, unsightly infections and itching, to sterility, and possibly death. How strong is that sexual drive now? Still have it?

How do you avoid this? It is really very simple. Avoid any situation that will pass a disease from someone to you. But what about having my own children? When you make a choice for a partner to raise those children with you, it should be a lifetime choice, and once a doctor has assured that neither of you are carrying a disease, and neither of you ever have coitus with any one else, there will never be a problem. In most cases, you cannot pass a disease to your sexual mate if you don't get one from somewhere or someone else. It is entirely your choice to avoid the pitfalls of irresponsible sexual choices. Pitfalls such as emotional distress, unwanted pregnancies, STDs, or death. Sorry to sound so glum, but that's what we have to think about. That is real life, and we have all of the control over this.

Sometimes we can attain a disease through contact with medications, blood transfusions, transplanted tissues, or our environment, and they also must be monitored, because it is possible to send some of those to your partner through intimate contact, so be wise and beware.

Very young people soon learn very early that there are things that they do that feel good. These things seem to meet a 'need' that they have. We all had those needs. We still do. Touching some parts of their bodies make them aware of what Erogenous Zones are, although they don't have a name for them. These can be places on their face, mouth, neck, behind their ear, behind their knees, in the bend of their elbow, their nipples, their genitals... places that make them feel good when they touch there. It is not long before most young people learn ways in which they can gratify their sexual desires. The number and variety of these ways are extensive, but they basically fall into several general groups:

'Self-Love' or 'Masturbation'

This involves a person touching or manipulating parts of their own body in such a way that it satisfies their sexual desires, up to and including an orgasm. If one was to choose a method of satisfying their needs, this one would involve no chance of passing an STD, no emotional connection with another person, and no chance of producing a child. In the past this has been condemned because when a male ejaculated it was believed that he was throwing away a child. This type of sexual behavior has always gone (and in some cases continues to go) against the teaching of most churches and in the opinions of many that translate the Bible, it also speaks against it. It is performed by males and females alike, upon themselves. Infants are frequently observed pleasuring themselves long before they have any idea about what they are doing. It has even been observed en utero. Some current opinions are a little more accepting, and it is referred to as "Outer-course" when spoken about in the Los Angeles School System's Sexual Education Classes.

Some benefits are available... it can produce an Orgasm (after Puberty) without Coitus, can be utilized at any age, helps a sexual partner to know themselves better so they can direct their partner in helping them to reach an Orgasm, it is an aid to sexual fulfillment when a partner is ill, or away, or deceased... a number of things that have been helpful in people's daily lives.

The term "Mutual Masturbation" indicates that two people are performing Masturbation while in the company of another, or they perform it upon each other. It does not include Penile-Vaginal penetration, but if Seminal fluids which can be Ejaculated prior to a man's Orgasm or Vaginal fluids are contacted by the other person, there is a chance of transmitting an STD if one partner has one, and in some cases causing a pregnancy. Many STD's are passed through mere contact of sexual body parts or bodily fluids.

Two People

Any two people are able to have a sexual experience. What is referred to by many as "normal" sex does not exist, because "norm" means "average", but historically it would likely be a man and a woman having Coitus. Sexual activity within the confines of a marriage are accepted by our society as the most "accepted" sexual activity, with the intent of the creation of new life or bringing sexual fulfillment to each of their lives. That being said, when two people do have a sexual experience, it must be remembered that BOTH people are capable of reaching an Orgasm, and a true, loving couple will make sure that both partners are enabled to reach their own Orgasm. It would be selfish for one to find satisfaction without the other having the same possibility. Generally, that will require a woman to have much longer time for her body to reach an orgasm than a man.

Coitus with the intent of Conception to occur involves penetration of the Vagina with the Penis and Orgasm occurring in the male to produce Ejaculate (which contains Sperm) which will seek the Egg waiting in the woman's Fallopian Tubes.  Orgasm does not need to occur in the woman for Conception to occur, but it may increase the chances of Conception due to the Cervix actively dipping into the pool of Sperm in the back of the Vagina. The Penis does not have to actually enter the Vagina as Sperm deposited outside the Vagina will actually motate toward the Vagina and enter into the search for the Egg.

The physical arrangement of the two partners can be various 'positions', as long as the Sperm is able to be deposited inside (or close to) the opening of the Vagina. Body size, Penis size, the body's physical condition, pregnancy, ailments, body weight, emotional feelings, memories, fears and other things have a lot to do with the couple determining the appropriate position for them. Couples will often use several positions as one may be better for one partner but not for the other.

The terms "Contraceptive or Birth Control Method" refer to a preventive drug, solution, technique or physical device that blocks the Sperm from reaching the Egg. NO METHOD OR DEVICE can one hundred percent prevent skin-to-skin contact during sexual activity and prevent from passing STD's. Some work better than others but they are all a gamble. As Harry Callahan said:" ...you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk? "

The term "having sex" is all inclusive and contains anything that two people do together with the intent of satisfying a deep sexual urge of either partner, and includes kissing, touching, and anything else they can imagine that would be pleasurable to one or both of them.

The term "Coitus" means the penetration of a woman's Vagina with a man's Penis. Nothing else qualifies as that term.

The term "Oral Sex" means anything done with the mouth as part of the process. "Fellatio" involves a mouth and a Penis. "Cunnilingus" involves a mouth and a Vulva.

Remember that saliva from a mouth, fluids from a Vagina, and Semen from a Penis ALL carry STD's if they belong to someone that has that STD. ANY opening to fluids or blood can be an entry point for an STD to enter your body.

Forced (Rape)

Any sexual activity without the full cooperation and permission of BOTH partners is considered Rape. In most cases, the intent of the person committing the rape is to inflict pain or express anger, or to show physical control over the other person, and is not to experience sexual gratification. Because the punishment of being caught and convicted is so great, it would be much cheaper, easier, and more enjoyable to find a willing partner or to pay for the sexual favors of a Prostitute. A spouse can be convicted of committing rape with their partner, and a woman can be convicted of rape.

More Than Two People

It is possible for any sexual activity to be performed with more than two people present and participating. This is referred to by many terms, but generally known as group sex. Obviously, group sex has many complications and risks, and is not condoned by the general public.